Last year, when the University of Tennessee announced that the young, fresh-faced, cutie-pie, Lane Kiffin would replace Phil Fulmer, my husband was skeptical.
“I don’t know about this,” he said. “This could be good. Could be bad. But I have a feeling he’ll stay for a year or two and then leave us in the middle of the night like a one-night stand.”
I, on the other hand, was a little more optimistic. I mean, I wasn’t exactly the conductor for the Lane Train, but I was definitely on board, along for the ride. I was ready for a change, and Kiffy-Poo was looking like a good choice, especially next to Fat Phil.
He had spunk. Personality. Attitude. And I liked it.
Who knew he’d screw us? Apparently, Jonathan did.
Unless you’ve been living under a rock (or you’re on a business trip in Denmark), you’ve probably heard that Kiffin is gone. Dunzo. Peace out, Girl Scout.
Held a one-minute presser. Packed his bags for sunny California. Hopped on a jetplane with his lovely wife, Layla. Probably hopping off a plane at LAX (Miley Cyrus style, of course) right now.
The Lane Train has left the station, folks. And -ALL-ABOARD- he took his friends with him.
He left in the middle of the night, like a one-night stand.
Now what?
Are we sad that Kiff-Kiff broke up with us? Maybe. Maybe not. Are we outraged that he used the classic breakup “it’s not you, it’s me” approach? Absolutely. What a total jerk-face. Perhaps we’re even feeling a little embarrassed about the gawd-awful emotional mess he left behind him in hills of Tennessee.
Rejection is hard. Hurtful. Embarrassing. Demoralizing.
But somewhere, there is a man who won’t reject us. He’ll love us for who we are (a bunch of crazy-ass, redneck football fans), and he’ll want to stick around for more than a night (or two). Maybe he’s in Texas. Maybe he’s an old friend in North Carolina. Maybe he’s a bigshot broadcaster.
Wherever he is, we’ll find him. Our big orange hearts will mend. And we’ll be just fine.
But before we heal, we have a lot of hating to do...
4 comments:
Lady, I love this! I related, I laughed, I agree! My heart is on a mends already. Thank you for the insight!
Melinda ... don't you love me anymore?
I'm hurt.
Laney Boy
Johnny and I were on the same page. I never boarded the Lane Train and I am thrilled that he is gone. Kiffin = classless.
Dear Lord in the last year you have taken my favorite actor Patrick Swayze, my favorite actress Farrah Fawcett, my favorite entertainer Michael Jackson, my favorite salesman Billy Mays and my favorite athlete Chris Henry. I just wanted to let you know my favorite coach is ...... Lane Kiffin
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